Awesome. Everything’s awesome. Everybody’s awesome. So much awesome. All the time, 24⁄7, maybe more! And I get it: this is the 21st century. All the things are totally amazeballs, without exception. We’re all winners, all of us. Top of the game, thanks for playing, y’all.
Anyways, I see your plight. It’s 20 minutes until that big meeting. You’re about to present your (baking soda volcano / disruptive startup / marriage proposal / weird old trick) to (a pack of super-critical VC’s / traffic cop / an angry axe murderer / the Gods / HackerNews), and your pitch contains 200 instances of the word “awesome” while being 300 words long. That’s clearly less than ideal. Your future (well-being / monies / job / sex life / accommodation) depends on these five minutes.
Fret not. I’m here to help. Take your pick from these fine alternative to the blatantly overused word “awesome”.
- “slightly amusing”
- “quite okay”
- “not butter”
- “utter bollocks”
- “yo papa”*
- “… err, does anyone here know how to use a dictionary? No? Well then. As I was saying…”
At that point, “awesome” isn’t a word anymore, it’s a fucking comma. Making an originally exceptional term meaningless just because we don’t know any words — that’s not cool, you guys.
Please, let us all stop. Thank you for your time.