Of weddings, cake and tribes

My baby sister Claudia married her longtime friend Tino this weekend. Yes, we were invited. :)

I’ll skip the part where we fought against the Gods of the Autobahn on Friday (car crashes, construction sites and car crashes within construction sites along the road, took us ten hours to drive there) and how we got almost no sleep the night before and get right to the wedding day.

We drove to the town where the church is, Rossla. First, there was the appointment at the register office (that’s the term?) where they were legally married. Afterwards we went over to the church where there was a nice ceremony (Tino’s is of Christian faith). I was amazed to see they had hired a singer who was standing on the second floor, singing two songs (My heart will go on and Goodbye, english rose). Nice songs, she had a great, powerful voice, but I was slightly irrated by the fact that both songs are actually songs of farewell… nevermind. The priest was doing a great job talking about marriage and the life afterwards, and it was very cool and amusing, mostly because he wasn’t preachy or anything, it was very down-to-earth and sometimes downright funny. (I thanked him afterwards… I was expecting some Father-Lovejoy’ish speech, but I’m glad he did it the way he did.)

Then we went for the traditional wedding day lunch (I really don’t know what the english term is). The location was …interesting, to say the least. Apparently the owners were friends of Tino and Claudia. It was more a pub than a restaurant, and they clearly weren’t outfitted to deal with 50 people. I mean, damn, they had four different types of spoons, knives and forks, and they had them mixed. That left me somewhat puzzled. The food was okay’ish, but I was expecting something better on my sister’s wedding day. Still, the newlyweds were enjoying it, so it was okay with me as well. (More on this notion later on.)

Afterwards, we drove to the final location, which was a restaurant slash rural party location, where they served coffee and cake and everything. That was nice. Great cake. A couple of hours later the catering service blessed us with good food again. :)

Finally the guy with the music arrived. He was some sort of village DJ, and I honestly have to say I loathed his mixture of music. I really did, it was tragically bad. In my personal opinion it was the musical version of a horrible and messy train crash. It was a mix of what Japanese and American tourist expect a typical German to listen to all day plus some eurodiscotrash from the slopes of the Alps (drunk skiing, yeah) plus the worst from the coasts of Mallorca. Interestingly, most people seemed to enjoy it. ;)

Then there was dancing, drinking, games for the newlyweds, drinking, yelling to the music, drinking, drinking, smoking, drinking and dancing.

All in all the night was rather strange to my eyes and ears. Yet, it seemed to thoroughly please both my sis and her husband, so it was okay with me as well. :)

At three in the morning, the party was over since everyone was either asleep, almost asleep, gone or hardly able to defy gravity due to excessive amounts of alcohol flooding their bloodstreams. (Man, these people can drink. I bet if more people would be like this, drinking was olympic already.)

A few thoughts about this very day and what I heard, saw and sensed. My sister is deeply in love with Tino, even after spending six years with him already, and this very day she was the happiest person in the world. I kinda know what it’s like, and I’m so glad she found a person to share her live with, not just some guy, but the very person who was clearly the missing piece in her life. I’m thankful that I was able to catch a few glimpses of that love when they smiled at or danced with eachother.

But I think she hasn’t married a single man, she’s married a tribe, and I’m not saying that in degrading manner. It’s a small village, and apparently these few dozens of people all went through a couple of things over the last few decades, they know eachother and their lifes. It has brought them together in a family kind of sense. Many of them are related, closely or loosely, and those who are not are real friends. These people are there for eachother, they share everything, and if one of them ever needs help, the others are there.

My sister is part of this tribe now, and she’s enjoying it. It is not my way of life, and while I don’t think I could ever be a part of a community like this, I can clearly see that she can, and she is now. She’s happy there, and so is her husband.

Over the last few years we were talking on the phone every now and then, and when she told me about the job insecurity and the fucked up job market I recommended packing the bags and moving away. She always told me that she wouldn’t do that because of her friends and everything she had there. I wasn’t really sure I understood what she meant, but there always was a certain sense of “my place is here”. I never really knew what she really wanted to express there, but now I know. And to be honest, I’m glad I do.

So, all in all, I can say that the wedding day wasn’t what I expected. Some parts were just great, other… eeeeh, not so much. But it doesn’t matter what I think or what I would’ve done if I had my say. I told her that (in my/our opinion) wedding days are best planned with the following thought in mind: “Screw you, it’s OUR day.” Hell, we did the same. I’m convinced half of the people at our wedding thought it was a crappy day, but who gives a damn, because it was our day, and it was good. So who cares whether I liked the lunch or the music – they seemed to enjoy it, my sister and her husband were happy, and that is exactly what counts for me. Also I wasn’t sure whether my sister wasn’t making a mistake by moving to a village as three times as big as our parking lot, but now I know she is happy there, this is what she wants. This is what she conciously decided her life should be like, and I’m deeply and honestly happy for her. Not many people know for sure what they want, and they live their lifes constantly looking for a better place to live or better people to be with. She doesn’t. Neither do I, and so I can relate, and seeing my little baby sister going her own way makes me really proud. :)

I love you, Claudia. Even if we don’t talk much and almost never see eachother, I’m with you. You’ve picked a great guy to spend your life with, and I wish both of you the very best. May you have a good life and bright kids. You’ll do great, you two. :)

Carlo